Understanding Your Child’s Behaviour (and Your Triggers)
Parenting is one of life’s most rewarding roles, but it can also be one of the most challenging. We all aspire to raise confident, happy, and emotionally balanced children, yet there are moments when their behaviour can leave us feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, or even helpless. The key to navigating these moments often lies not just in understanding our children, but in understanding ourselves.
Why Children Act Out
Children’s behaviours are their way of communicating. When a child refuses to cooperate, throws a tantrum, or lashes out, they’re expressing an unmet need or an overwhelming emotion. They don’t yet have the language or tools to explain what’s happening inside them, so their behaviour becomes their voice.
Ask yourself:
Is my child hungry, tired, or overstimulated?
Are they feeling unheard or disconnected?
Could this behaviour be rooted in fear, frustration, or anxiety?
Viewing behaviour as communication helps us shift from reacting with frustration to responding with curiosity and empathy.
Recognising Our Triggers
As parents, our reactions to our children’s behaviours are deeply tied to our own emotions, past experiences, and even our stress levels. A child’s tantrum might trigger feelings of anger or helplessness, not because of what they’re doing, but because it stirs something unresolved within us.
Reflect on these moments:
Does my child’s defiance make me feel disrespected or out of control?
Do I feel shame when my child misbehaves in public?
Am I projecting my own insecurities or expectations onto my child?
By identifying our triggers, we can begin to respond more calmly and intentionally, rather than reacting out of habit or emotion.
The Power of Connection
Children thrive when they feel seen, heard, and understood. Building a connection with your child doesn’t mean letting go of boundaries or discipline—it means creating a relationship where they feel safe enough to express themselves and learn.
Try these strategies:
Pause and Reflect: Take a deep breath before responding to challenging behaviour. Ask yourself what your child might need in this moment.
Name the Emotion: Help your child understand their feelings. “I see you’re really upset because we can’t go to the park right now.”
Model Calmness: Children learn emotional regulation from watching us. By staying calm, you teach them how to manage their own emotions.
Repair After Conflict: If you lose your temper, apologise and explain. “I’m sorry for yelling. I was feeling very frustrated, but that wasn’t the best way to handle it.”
Prioritising Self-Care
Parenting with presence and patience requires energy. If we’re running on empty—physically, emotionally, or mentally—it’s harder to show up for our children. Prioritise your well-being by:
Taking moments of rest when you can.
Talking to a trusted friend, partner, or professional about your struggles.
Practising mindfulness or breathing exercises to stay grounded.
A Journey of Growth
Parenting isn’t about being perfect; it’s about growing alongside your child. Understanding your child’s behaviour and your own triggers creates a space where both of you can thrive. Remember, every challenging moment is an opportunity to deepen connection, build trust, and model the emotional skills you want your child to learn.
At Cooroy Therapy, we’re here to support you in this journey. Whether it’s through play therapy for your child or counselling for you as a parent, we’re committed to helping families grow together with compassion and connection.
Ready to start your journey? Let’s explore how we can support you and your family. 💛
